COMPULSION

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                 COMPULSION
     A POEM BY ABDULGAFAR

What kind of compulsion is this?
When we first met, I never thought we would become
Such good friends. I never thought that you would mean
So much to me. I never thought that I would love you
So freaking much. I never thought I would be so scared to
Tell you how I feel. Because, when two soulmates meet,
They are meant to be together, right?
But sometimes, things doesn’t go the easy way.
Maybe its just me and my paranoid mind, but
I want you so badly, I would take all the stars from the sky,
Just for you.
I don’t want to loose you, even though we are not together,
But am scared of telling you how I feel, I am scared of
Rejection. I am scared of ruining our friendship,
But the thought of not having you by my side is insane,
The thought of not seeing your smile is crazy,
The thought of not feeling your skin on mine is painful.
Its so hard to be divided. One side of me want to tell you
How I feel, but is scared of rejection. And there’s the other side
Suffering from not telling you, because it doesn’t want to ruin our
Friendship. Its happy with the way we are currently. Which one is
The best for me?
I cannot live without you now, what’s my existence without
You? If I get separated from you, then I’ll be separated from
Myself, because its only you now. You’re my life now.
You are my peace and also my pain.
I have always been trying to impress you, hoping you will
Make the first move.
I am done trying to impress you, but at the same time,
I can’t give up on you, I don’t want to give up
On us, because we deserve a chance.
Even though I don’t know where we stand now, I still
Believe that one day, we will get a chance to be together, and
Make each other happy. Because, I have never and will never
Care for anybody as I have cared for you.
Till the day comes, you will always continue to be in my mind.
Ave always loved you then, I love you now, and I will love you
Forever.
I may not be the best at my field, but I guarantee you that I'm going to die real. That's an Epiphany. ©RealPoetry ©AuthorOfPain

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